Yesterday, my parents watched the kids while I ran an errand. I got back and my mom was in a distraught state on the couch cuddling Roslyn. Apparently, roslyn had had a couple "not breathing"incidents while I was gone. I think I lost a babysitter. Half kidding. My mom looked at me the same way I was looking at the nurses in the hospital almost a week ago. And all of a sudden I realized why the nurses looked at me the way they did. There it's nothing we can do except let the medicine kick in. we have seen improvement on this medicine, but I guess we were all hoping for a cure over night.
Her "incidents" have become some sort of norm to me. I can't prevent them. All I can do is stimulate her out of them.
She has been spitting up a lot lately. Like, a lot a lot. She also is not sleeping very well and seems to be even more gassy than before. She has a followup doctor's appointment on monday. I'm starting to gather all of the questions that I need to remember to ask.
Speaking of the norm, jolene has taken up a new habit. The girl can't stand a diaper. Every chance she gets it comes off. Lucky for her it still is still in the funny stage to me. I thought it was just "naked monday" but when it continued today I realized we might have issues.
Oh and by the way, the girl is obsessed with tarzan lately. Every time it's movie time she wants "up-pohs"... Why does she call it that? Well first of all, "up-pohs" translates to hippos. And she calls Tarzan "hippos" because of one scene at the very end when you briefly see a clip of hippos in the water..... Crazy, I know.

Today must be my lucky day.
This morning I was helping my dad deliver trays of ham to homes that we're cooking them for a funeral later. While driving through his neighborhood, I spotted a handwritten sign out of the corner of my eye that said "free tile"really big. I had my dad stop and back up. 2 new boxes and one opened box of 16x16 ceramic tile lay out for one lucky person to take. I got lucky.
Later today, I was taking jolene on a bike ride when I spotted something out on the curb to be thrown out. A perfectly good dollhouse. Sure, it has a lot of children art on it, but I can sand that away. I got lucky, twice.

We are going to see if there is enough tile for one of our bathrooms. I hope so.

Jo was sad the dollhouse didn't fit in our car. We have to wait for grandpa to get home with the van to bring it to our house.

I guess my blog rantings have still
left some of you with questions. I'll keep this short and just answer with the facts as best as I understand them:
Why didn't the dr or hospital send us home with a movement monitor?
The way I understand it, because Roslyn recovers in under 20 seconds they wouldn't be able to get it approved through insurance and to get one from them without insurance would cost 20x as much as buying one ourselves.
Is she turning blue?
She hadn't, until that walgreens incident thursday night. Her eyes were bright red and lips turning blue. She definitely was struggling.
How do I know she's not breathing?
I get that one a lot, and I'm not trying to be mean but that is a horribly dumb question. But, to give my friends and family the benefit of the doubt in that they sincerely want to know- I start with watching her chest for movement, followed by checking her nose/mouth for air. We actually generally know it's coming because of the gasp attacks she has before and after.
Why didn't I say anything, at least on facebook?
I didn't want to put it on blast and seem "pity me" when a lot of people have a lot going on right now. I know this may not seem like the mandy you know, and maybe I've finally grown, but I didn't want the attention LOL. Another reason was because a) we weren't positive the cause and b) we weren't sure the solution yet. We waited to write our blog post even until we had facts to share.
Will she grow out of it or will this be for life?
From what I understand it can go either way. Some kids just learn to deal with it themselves or with aid from medication. Most babies do grow out of it. Their bodies are still learning to function alone outside the womb and most babies' bodies will learn to regulate their acid better. From what I understand. We'll see I guess.

Any others?

I think I jinxed it. Here I am telling anyone who asked all day, "oh no she's fine! Doing so much better! Hasn't had an episode since 4 am this morning"
And while that is mostly true, it's 945 pm and I'm laying in bed next to my angel baby as a series of gasp attacks occur.
Sure, at least she's still breathing. That is a HUGE improvement and I should be happy enough for that and shut my mouth. But in the back of my mind I know that in the past these gasp attacks lead to moments of "breath holding". I sit on edge waiting, holding my own breath figuratively as I anticipate roslyn holding her breath literally.
What a scary night to lead.
Still, I hold faith in the promptings that once saved my baby's life. I will know what needs to be done if something needs to be done.
So tonight I'm choosing to live by faith, not by fear.
Tonight, we will all get much needed sleep.
Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow will be a glorious day. Baby steps to a healthy life.
How blessed we are to live in a time of modern medicine. Doctors don't know all. They practice medicine. Where science ends, God does not.
And these are the rantings of a sleep deprived and an emotionally & mentally shot mother.
Xoxo